Never quitting

I have come to the end of my book "What my parents did right?" Wow, that's a long time to finish a book...well, at least I finished it inspite of a schedule of kids and household chores!

"Son, you need to learn that life is not easy and that, whatever you do in life, you will be working with people who don't agree with you. Go back to Bob Jones and learn to function in a context that is difficult for you...Besides, you quit. You ran away from a situation that was difficult. If you run away completely, you will set a pattern that will be hard to break. You may end up being a quitter all your life....life is difficult, but it is also an adventure - an an exciting one at that. I'm persuaded in my own life that God's calling demands steady, unmoved perseverance" - Dr Robert Webber

"Don't quit!" A common phrase which we have often repeated it to others and have often heard others repeating to us. It is definitely important to 'drill' it into the hearts and minds of our children.

Kai doesn't like taking Chinese as a subject but it is a second language which all Chinese kids have to take when they are in school. Not having a very interesting Chinese teacher made it even more difficult for him to enjoy it. We all know how important it is to have an interesting teacher in class. If we have a good teacher, oh how we look forward to attending his lesson, how attentive we can be during his lesson. I recalled having a great lecturer during my Open-U days. I did English and it was a dry and boring subject. But this lecturer brought so much life and soul into a dead subject and it wasn't surprising to find full attendence at all his lectures.

Coming to US would mean Kai will be having lesser time with his Chinese. A joy to him, a bane to me. I have to work two times, three times harder to get him to remember his Chinese, to enjoy his Chinese. Each time, when I sit him down for his Chinese lesson, his mind will start to drift to every parts of the world, every corner of the universe...except to the world of Chinese. His mind just shut down and he just gave up. Basically, he just QUIT! Hang out his white flag and surrender. He will make no attempt to think, to try at all.

Till one fine day, I had to have a pep talk with him. (Never think that you child is too young to understand). Kai loves soldiers, army and stories of wars and battles, very much a boy thing.

I had to illustrate to him that learning Chinese is like going to war. If the soldiers don't even put up a fight, they will surely die in the hands of their enemies but if they put up a fight, there are still chances of a victory. If he sits down and just quit trying, it is a confirmed faliure for him. The chances of him scoring any marks are nil. But if he puts in some efforts, the chances of passing are there.

We love watching the reality show - Survivor. It is about outwit, outplay, outlast your competitors. And each time when it comes to the challenges, often we find the losing team, not giving up, fighting to the end and thus, winning the race. Each time one of these team emerged winning, I would use it as an example regarding his 'fight' with his Chinese.

And I am glad that all these illustrations have sunk in. Kai is making progress. The first mock Chinese exam given to him, he really failed but yesterday, he had another mock exam and he scored 36 marks out of 50. It is not the best marks but it is the effort he has put in, trying his hardest to answer the questions and... not quitting.