Never quitting
I have come to the end of my book "What my parents did right?" Wow, that's a long time to finish a book...well, at least I finished it inspite of a schedule of kids and household chores!
"Son, you need to learn that life is not easy and that, whatever you do in life, you will be working with people who don't agree with you. Go back to Bob Jones and learn to function in a context that is difficult for you...Besides, you quit. You ran away from a situation that was difficult. If you run away completely, you will set a pattern that will be hard to break. You may end up being a quitter all your life....life is difficult, but it is also an adventure - an an exciting one at that. I'm persuaded in my own life that God's calling demands steady, unmoved perseverance" - Dr Robert Webber
"Don't quit!" A common phrase which we have often repeated it to others and have often heard others repeating to us. It is definitely important to 'drill' it into the hearts and minds of our children.
Kai doesn't like taking Chinese as a subject but it is a second language which all Chinese kids have to take when they are in school. Not having a very interesting Chinese teacher made it even more difficult for him to enjoy it. We all know how important it is to have an interesting teacher in class. If we have a good teacher, oh how we look forward to attending his lesson, how attentive we can be during his lesson. I recalled having a great lecturer during my Open-U days. I did English and it was a dry and boring subject. But this lecturer brought so much life and soul into a dead subject and it wasn't surprising to find full attendence at all his lectures.
Coming to US would mean Kai will be having lesser time with his Chinese. A joy to him, a bane to me. I have to work two times, three times harder to get him to remember his Chinese, to enjoy his Chinese. Each time, when I sit him down for his Chinese lesson, his mind will start to drift to every parts of the world, every corner of the universe...except to the world of Chinese. His mind just shut down and he just gave up. Basically, he just QUIT! Hang out his white flag and surrender. He will make no attempt to think, to try at all.
Till one fine day, I had to have a pep talk with him. (Never think that you child is too young to understand). Kai loves soldiers, army and stories of wars and battles, very much a boy thing.
I had to illustrate to him that learning Chinese is like going to war. If the soldiers don't even put up a fight, they will surely die in the hands of their enemies but if they put up a fight, there are still chances of a victory. If he sits down and just quit trying, it is a confirmed faliure for him. The chances of him scoring any marks are nil. But if he puts in some efforts, the chances of passing are there.
We love watching the reality show - Survivor. It is about outwit, outplay, outlast your competitors. And each time when it comes to the challenges, often we find the losing team, not giving up, fighting to the end and thus, winning the race. Each time one of these team emerged winning, I would use it as an example regarding his 'fight' with his Chinese.
And I am glad that all these illustrations have sunk in. Kai is making progress. The first mock Chinese exam given to him, he really failed but yesterday, he had another mock exam and he scored 36 marks out of 50. It is not the best marks but it is the effort he has put in, trying his hardest to answer the questions and... not quitting.
Showing posts with label My parents did right. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My parents did right. Show all posts
7.10.08
10.9.08
Love and discipline
"...that love and discipline are not only compatible, but indeed, that each is an important component of the other...we learned from our parents that a God who loves us and who demands obedience because of that love is not only a Biblical truth but also an incredibly reasonable arrangement. Love and discipline go hand in hand..." ~ Janette Oke
To the kids, I am like the strict discipline master of a school. They know there is no messing around when it comes to obedience. Sometimes, I wonder if I should relax with them. But on the other hand, I also know that if I don't discipline them now, there is no another chance later. I always view parenthood in three stages.
Stage 1 : As kids, we set the rules and they have to follow
Stage 2 : As teenager, we are like flying a kite, sometimes we let go and when they are flying to the wrong direction, we pull back a little
Stage 3 : As a young adult, let go. Pray hard that whatever I have taught, they can be responsible for their own actions
It is also like a cycle. As infants, we are relax with them, as they grow older, we expect more discipline and as they reach adulthood, we relax again.
And yes, love and discipline must go hand in hand. And looking at Kai and Ann now, I think I am doing it right. Although, they know I am strict but they also know that I love them and that they love me.
I am a stay-at-home-mum, 24/7, 365 days. (Never ask a woman "do you work?" Yes! we do, all the time!) They see me everyday without fail, the moment they open their eyes to the time they close their eyes, they know I am always there. Yet, there is no sign of them getting tired of me (well, at least for now). On those rare occasions when I have my "ladies night" out, they never fail to ask for me. Just ten minutes after stepping out of the house, Kai will be asking, "when is mummy coming back?" As for Ann, every night, she never fails her "good nite mama, I love you mama." Sweet, isn't it?
I have a slogan for my kids, "when it's time to play, play very hard. When it's time to work, work very hard." Of course, as kids, they never fail to play the hardest!
"...that love and discipline are not only compatible, but indeed, that each is an important component of the other...we learned from our parents that a God who loves us and who demands obedience because of that love is not only a Biblical truth but also an incredibly reasonable arrangement. Love and discipline go hand in hand..." ~ Janette Oke
To the kids, I am like the strict discipline master of a school. They know there is no messing around when it comes to obedience. Sometimes, I wonder if I should relax with them. But on the other hand, I also know that if I don't discipline them now, there is no another chance later. I always view parenthood in three stages.
Stage 1 : As kids, we set the rules and they have to follow
Stage 2 : As teenager, we are like flying a kite, sometimes we let go and when they are flying to the wrong direction, we pull back a little
Stage 3 : As a young adult, let go. Pray hard that whatever I have taught, they can be responsible for their own actions
It is also like a cycle. As infants, we are relax with them, as they grow older, we expect more discipline and as they reach adulthood, we relax again.
And yes, love and discipline must go hand in hand. And looking at Kai and Ann now, I think I am doing it right. Although, they know I am strict but they also know that I love them and that they love me.
I am a stay-at-home-mum, 24/7, 365 days. (Never ask a woman "do you work?" Yes! we do, all the time!) They see me everyday without fail, the moment they open their eyes to the time they close their eyes, they know I am always there. Yet, there is no sign of them getting tired of me (well, at least for now). On those rare occasions when I have my "ladies night" out, they never fail to ask for me. Just ten minutes after stepping out of the house, Kai will be asking, "when is mummy coming back?" As for Ann, every night, she never fails her "good nite mama, I love you mama." Sweet, isn't it?
I have a slogan for my kids, "when it's time to play, play very hard. When it's time to work, work very hard." Of course, as kids, they never fail to play the hardest!
25.8.08
Chick-fil-A
Read as 'chick fillet'. Chil-fil-A is a popular fast food restaurant in USA. However, it is not the same as the rest of the fast-food chains. They have extremely well-trained staff. You only placed the order at the counter but your food is served to you at your table. They DO NOT open on Sundays.
Yes, straight away you will know that they are a Christian organization.
The Chick-fil-A story was freatured in the book "What my parents did right." The founder of the restaurant, S Truett Cathy shared his story about his parents who taught him 'Reverence for the Lord's day'. That is 'on the seventh day, God rested'
We all know that Sunday is the best day for any business. Any business-minded person will know that it will be a bad mistake to close your business on the busiest day of the week. But Truett was told to devote that day to a day of rest since young. Even though he had a business running, he would make sure that his business would close for that day. And it has been practised since the day he first started his restaurant.
The Lord set aside one day a week as His day (Genesis 2:3 says, "And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made") - ("and He did so for our benefit" Mark 2:27)
Some people believe that equipment works more efficiently and with fewer breakdowns when it rests. I'm inclined to agree - especially when that "equipment" is a human being. ~ S Truett Cathy
Did his business suffer, no not at all. Chick-fil-A can be found in thirty-one states, in more than 350 shopping malls, in 700 free standing kiosks, 29 drive-thrus....and all closed on Sundays. Sales in 2006, reached $2.275 billions.(Chick-fil-a facts) 47,000 plus Chick-fil-A employees appreciated that Sunday off to spend time with their families, friends and loved ones and also to attend church.
A check with Wikipedia found this...
Chick-fil-A founder S. Truett Cathy is a devout Southern Baptist who has taught Sunday School for over 44 years and whose religious beliefs permeate the company to this day. The company's official statement of corporate purpose says that the business exists "to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us and to have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A." The chain invests heavily in community services (especially for children and teenagers) and scholarships. Cathy's beliefs are also responsible for one of the chain's distinctive features: All Chick-fil-A locations (company-owned and franchised, whether in a mall or freestanding) are closed on Sundays.
"Our decision to close on Sunday was our way of honoring God and directing our attention to things more important than our business. If it took seven days to make a living with a restaurant, then we needed to be in some other line of work. Through the years, I have never wavered from that position."
~ S. Truett Cathy
Seek God first and all things will be added unto you.God's way is always the right way.
We are thankful that back in Singapore, we have a Saturday night service. Our whole family attends the Saturday service so that we could have a whole day of family time on Sunday. We could be lazing around at home or going to the malls...but what matters most is to have the family together. We have done so much together as a family, so much so that Kai and Ann will not want to be left-out in any activity.
As parents, we sometimes need to see the importance of putting aside a day where work ceased and the family can do things together. Going to church together, going out together or just being together. Someone once said, "to a child, love is spelt T-I-M-E."
Entrance of a 'Chick-A-fil' restaurant.
Nice play area for kids.
Love their slogan "Food is essential to life, therefore make it GOOD!"
And yes, their food is good. You don't get processed chicken nuggets, you get chicken-chunks nuggets. You don't get potato-powder fries, you get real potato-sliced fries!
Read as 'chick fillet'. Chil-fil-A is a popular fast food restaurant in USA. However, it is not the same as the rest of the fast-food chains. They have extremely well-trained staff. You only placed the order at the counter but your food is served to you at your table. They DO NOT open on Sundays.
Yes, straight away you will know that they are a Christian organization.
The Chick-fil-A story was freatured in the book "What my parents did right." The founder of the restaurant, S Truett Cathy shared his story about his parents who taught him 'Reverence for the Lord's day'. That is 'on the seventh day, God rested'
We all know that Sunday is the best day for any business. Any business-minded person will know that it will be a bad mistake to close your business on the busiest day of the week. But Truett was told to devote that day to a day of rest since young. Even though he had a business running, he would make sure that his business would close for that day. And it has been practised since the day he first started his restaurant.
The Lord set aside one day a week as His day (Genesis 2:3 says, "And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made") - ("and He did so for our benefit" Mark 2:27)
Some people believe that equipment works more efficiently and with fewer breakdowns when it rests. I'm inclined to agree - especially when that "equipment" is a human being. ~ S Truett Cathy
Did his business suffer, no not at all. Chick-fil-A can be found in thirty-one states, in more than 350 shopping malls, in 700 free standing kiosks, 29 drive-thrus....and all closed on Sundays. Sales in 2006, reached $2.275 billions.(Chick-fil-a facts) 47,000 plus Chick-fil-A employees appreciated that Sunday off to spend time with their families, friends and loved ones and also to attend church.
A check with Wikipedia found this...
Chick-fil-A founder S. Truett Cathy is a devout Southern Baptist who has taught Sunday School for over 44 years and whose religious beliefs permeate the company to this day. The company's official statement of corporate purpose says that the business exists "to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us and to have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A." The chain invests heavily in community services (especially for children and teenagers) and scholarships. Cathy's beliefs are also responsible for one of the chain's distinctive features: All Chick-fil-A locations (company-owned and franchised, whether in a mall or freestanding) are closed on Sundays.
"Our decision to close on Sunday was our way of honoring God and directing our attention to things more important than our business. If it took seven days to make a living with a restaurant, then we needed to be in some other line of work. Through the years, I have never wavered from that position."
~ S. Truett Cathy
Seek God first and all things will be added unto you.God's way is always the right way.
We are thankful that back in Singapore, we have a Saturday night service. Our whole family attends the Saturday service so that we could have a whole day of family time on Sunday. We could be lazing around at home or going to the malls...but what matters most is to have the family together. We have done so much together as a family, so much so that Kai and Ann will not want to be left-out in any activity.
As parents, we sometimes need to see the importance of putting aside a day where work ceased and the family can do things together. Going to church together, going out together or just being together. Someone once said, "to a child, love is spelt T-I-M-E."
Entrance of a 'Chick-A-fil' restaurant.
Nice play area for kids.
Love their slogan "Food is essential to life, therefore make it GOOD!"
And yes, their food is good. You don't get processed chicken nuggets, you get chicken-chunks nuggets. You don't get potato-powder fries, you get real potato-sliced fries!
5.8.08
Sometimes, loving means risking
Remember I shared about the book I am currently reading, yes, I am still reading it, "What my parents did right." I wanted to share with you only after I have finished it but I felt by then, there will be too much to write about. So, I decided to share with you as I move along.
How true. When we love, we have to risk.
Each time, when we allow our kids to go on field trips, are we not taking a risk? Can 2 to 3 teachers with 4 to 6 pairs of eyes really look after 20 over children? Anything can happen to them.
I remembered when Kai was only 3 years old, he went on his first field trip with all his classmates and teachers. I was worried sick for the whole day and I was a nervous wreck. But not allowing him to go, I would have deprived him of his childhood fun. Don't we all looked forward to field trips when we were little kids. So, for that whole day, I was worrying and worrying. When he finally retured, he talked non-stop about all the fun he had, not realising that his dear mummy almost went nuts!
It is common for us parents to want to protect our kids from the evil of men, from the harshness of life. But by doing that, we are not giving our children the opportunties of gaining independence, responsibilities and discipline. These qualities will turn them into Davids who will be able to fight all the Goliaths in their lives.
Looking back, I am really glad I had released my grip on Kai at an early stage. On the first day of his primary ,1 which is a big change for a kid, to shift from a kindergarten environment to a primary school, which is a huge community, he just breezed through it. He had no problem finding his way around, he had no problem making friends and he has no problem buying food all by himself. Even when we moved to USA, he made friends on the first day of school. He settled in so very well.
How often they must have wanted to take that cross off my shoulders. But to do so would have robbed me of the lessons I was to learn from my struggles and the maturity these were to bring. In saving me temporarily, my parents would have forever impoverished me.
Parental love must aim to guide and instruct, yet it must never suffocate or impede the necessary stretching process which builds character and spiritual depth.Parental love must value maturity more than security, and it needs to know when to relax one's grasp. This letting go process brings anxiety because our human love yearns to protect and hold our loved ones close. But such security is not ours to give.
The Christian life is full of many balances and tensions. But the call to let Jesus Christ have His way in the hearts and lives of our children must stand about our hopes for our offspring's comfort and security. Life is a holy training ground where many hurdles and tumbles are disguised blessings if only we will let it be...As earthly parents, we are called to a vital recognition that, ultimately, it is God who does the deepest and most profiund parenting of all. ~ James Evans
So what do we earthly parents do? Nothing? "Bo-chap?" No, we pray. Make it your daily practice to pray and commit your children to the loving hands of God, to cover them with His blood and surround them with his legions of angels. This is call "The power of a praying parent."
Remember I shared about the book I am currently reading, yes, I am still reading it, "What my parents did right." I wanted to share with you only after I have finished it but I felt by then, there will be too much to write about. So, I decided to share with you as I move along.
How true. When we love, we have to risk.
Each time, when we allow our kids to go on field trips, are we not taking a risk? Can 2 to 3 teachers with 4 to 6 pairs of eyes really look after 20 over children? Anything can happen to them.
I remembered when Kai was only 3 years old, he went on his first field trip with all his classmates and teachers. I was worried sick for the whole day and I was a nervous wreck. But not allowing him to go, I would have deprived him of his childhood fun. Don't we all looked forward to field trips when we were little kids. So, for that whole day, I was worrying and worrying. When he finally retured, he talked non-stop about all the fun he had, not realising that his dear mummy almost went nuts!
It is common for us parents to want to protect our kids from the evil of men, from the harshness of life. But by doing that, we are not giving our children the opportunties of gaining independence, responsibilities and discipline. These qualities will turn them into Davids who will be able to fight all the Goliaths in their lives.
Looking back, I am really glad I had released my grip on Kai at an early stage. On the first day of his primary ,1 which is a big change for a kid, to shift from a kindergarten environment to a primary school, which is a huge community, he just breezed through it. He had no problem finding his way around, he had no problem making friends and he has no problem buying food all by himself. Even when we moved to USA, he made friends on the first day of school. He settled in so very well.
How often they must have wanted to take that cross off my shoulders. But to do so would have robbed me of the lessons I was to learn from my struggles and the maturity these were to bring. In saving me temporarily, my parents would have forever impoverished me.
Parental love must aim to guide and instruct, yet it must never suffocate or impede the necessary stretching process which builds character and spiritual depth.Parental love must value maturity more than security, and it needs to know when to relax one's grasp. This letting go process brings anxiety because our human love yearns to protect and hold our loved ones close. But such security is not ours to give.
The Christian life is full of many balances and tensions. But the call to let Jesus Christ have His way in the hearts and lives of our children must stand about our hopes for our offspring's comfort and security. Life is a holy training ground where many hurdles and tumbles are disguised blessings if only we will let it be...As earthly parents, we are called to a vital recognition that, ultimately, it is God who does the deepest and most profiund parenting of all. ~ James Evans
So what do we earthly parents do? Nothing? "Bo-chap?" No, we pray. Make it your daily practice to pray and commit your children to the loving hands of God, to cover them with His blood and surround them with his legions of angels. This is call "The power of a praying parent."
22.7.08
What my parents did right
Have been reading this book, still in the midst of it...
When I was in my teens, I could easily finish one to two books in a week. During those carefree days, I have lots of time in my hands but now, I could hardly finish one book in a month. With age, comes responsibilities and that means also having very little 'me-time'. But I still try to read as I have learned from one author, "in books, there are treasures." And I am very glad that Kai has inherited this habit from me. In fact, he is much better, sometimes, one book in one day!
Also, at this age, I could no longer read through novels or rather, I have lost interest in novels, so I go for short stories, insights, biographies, recipes cum stories...and Kai's story books.
"What my parents did right" is a compilation of short stories written by children who have been inspired by their parents' lives, teachings and values. Once I have finished it, I will be able to share more.
I just want to extract a portion which I felt was very appropriate and it's just too good to be kept till later.
"Mom and dad were wise enough to broaden my knowledge of God beyond going to Sunday School, saying grace at dinner, and memorizing a lot of Bible verses. They understood that every dimension of lives is indeed spiritual. As a result, every family function was sacred. We learned to love God and grasp intangibles like insight, wisdom, and fairness as much as mastering table manners as from getting to church on time.
If I were to pick out a verse that best describes the way my parents raised us, it would be Deut 11:18-19 ~ Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds...Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." ~ Joni Eareckson Tada
Reading this book helps me to understand that we are on the right track in teaching Kai & Ann. YL and I often have to remind both of them to address the elders, say their 'please' and 'thank you', remembering what they have come from the most high.
In this modern society of ours, these teachings seem 'old-fashion'. But we believed that it would instill the value of respect into their young lives. They see and hear with their own eyes and ears that mum and papa address their grands before eating, thank the uncles and aunties who clear up their tables at food courts, the uncles who clean the void deck...greet the neighbours even if they are just helpers and always grateful for what we have. Two things we never fail to do, saying our grace, be it in public or home, ending the day by praying together.
However, as kids, the rule of repetition applies. We have to constantly remind them... because they constantly forget! Never give up, even if you are all stressed up!
As parents, we want to raise up good children, children who will grow up to be men and women of God. And these go beyond being an 'A' student in school and in church. It's about watching us, believing in us and living like us. If child-bearing is painful...then child-rearing is not for the faint-hearted.
Have been reading this book, still in the midst of it...
When I was in my teens, I could easily finish one to two books in a week. During those carefree days, I have lots of time in my hands but now, I could hardly finish one book in a month. With age, comes responsibilities and that means also having very little 'me-time'. But I still try to read as I have learned from one author, "in books, there are treasures." And I am very glad that Kai has inherited this habit from me. In fact, he is much better, sometimes, one book in one day!
Also, at this age, I could no longer read through novels or rather, I have lost interest in novels, so I go for short stories, insights, biographies, recipes cum stories...and Kai's story books.
"What my parents did right" is a compilation of short stories written by children who have been inspired by their parents' lives, teachings and values. Once I have finished it, I will be able to share more.
I just want to extract a portion which I felt was very appropriate and it's just too good to be kept till later.
"Mom and dad were wise enough to broaden my knowledge of God beyond going to Sunday School, saying grace at dinner, and memorizing a lot of Bible verses. They understood that every dimension of lives is indeed spiritual. As a result, every family function was sacred. We learned to love God and grasp intangibles like insight, wisdom, and fairness as much as mastering table manners as from getting to church on time.
If I were to pick out a verse that best describes the way my parents raised us, it would be Deut 11:18-19 ~ Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds...Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." ~ Joni Eareckson Tada
Reading this book helps me to understand that we are on the right track in teaching Kai & Ann. YL and I often have to remind both of them to address the elders, say their 'please' and 'thank you', remembering what they have come from the most high.
In this modern society of ours, these teachings seem 'old-fashion'. But we believed that it would instill the value of respect into their young lives. They see and hear with their own eyes and ears that mum and papa address their grands before eating, thank the uncles and aunties who clear up their tables at food courts, the uncles who clean the void deck...greet the neighbours even if they are just helpers and always grateful for what we have. Two things we never fail to do, saying our grace, be it in public or home, ending the day by praying together.
However, as kids, the rule of repetition applies. We have to constantly remind them... because they constantly forget! Never give up, even if you are all stressed up!
As parents, we want to raise up good children, children who will grow up to be men and women of God. And these go beyond being an 'A' student in school and in church. It's about watching us, believing in us and living like us. If child-bearing is painful...then child-rearing is not for the faint-hearted.
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